Get off my cloud

So according to my Facebook "social profile" I have been voted number 1 most likely to win in a fight amongst my peers. This is the only category in which I hit top spot, and I literally CANNOT believe it. Apart from toddlers and invalids (neither categories of people who've made it into my Facebook friends list of yet) I can't see myself winnign a fight against anyone. This either means people are taking the piss when voting, or I'm missing something and people are genuinely scared of me, a weedy, lazy slack job with all the menace of an apple crumble.

I'm not sure whether to be flattered that I have actually made it to number one at SOMETHING finaly in my life, or whether I should be taking a long hard look at why ANYBODY would ever fear me. I don't think I want to be feared really, although on the other hand it is slightly empowering. But then what does Facebook know anyway?

In other categories I rank as follows:

I have the 84th best profile picture

I am the 70th most organised

And of course I have lost every battle of "friend I'd rather marry or sleep with" and "most attractive". Well there's a surprise

Biggest shock of all however is that one person has voted me as "friend most likely to make a better father". WHAT THE FUCK??? Fred West would make a better father. Gavin McCann knows more about successful parenting. I would rather entrust a child to Satan himself than be left alone with a baby for even 20 minutes. Who in the name of blue buggery would consider me a good father? Never mind that all my friends think I'm aggressive and ugly, this is the one that really pisses me off. Who in their RIGHT MIND would suggest I'd make a father of any merit? In fact, how am I ever meant to become a father (which for the record I have NO INTENTION of ever becoming) when statistics prove nobody wants to even sleep with me?

I can't work out whether to be macked off at Facebook or my friends who have supposedly put me in this position. Someone's sure to feel the brunt of my wrath however. Mark my words 

So it turns out this blog is now 3 years old I recently noticed. It would be nice if I could say it has catalogued the past 3 years of my life but if I'm honest, there are HUGE chunks missing where I just gave up but I am starting to feel the need to bring blogging back. Partly because I've learned that new users to Blogspirit have to pay so I shoul;d really be making the most of my freebie and partly because I kind of miss it. Also I got a comment on an old post for the first time in months the other day and it reminded me just how exciting it is to have strangers pick up on your posting. Oh, and I'm still vain and like talking about myself.

Lets see if I can actually make a go of it again for 2008, which I am approaching with less sense of dread than I have done a new year in a long time now. I hope I don't live to regret this