Tuesday, 05 April 2005
Other road users
What is the deal with other people on the road?
Am I the only person that can drive?
Why don't you all just FUCK OFF?
I am sick to the back teeth of being stuck behind some pointless cretin who is paddling along at the wheel like a snail on smack with weights tied to his backside. Why can't everybody just drive fast? I'm not talking about lunatic speeds that threaten the very existence of anything else using a road, I just want people to realise that me and my little red car use the roads to get places, not for idling along country lanes for the fun of it. So when you see my car, either speed the fuck up or get the fuck out the way, it's not hard.
I pay a buggering fortune for use of Britain's roads through my road tax, and thus I expect use of them as I see fit. And that gives me the right to drive like Michael Schumacher on speed if I want to.
So old man in your VW Polo, shift up or shift over, I am not playing mr patient anymore. If you get in my way I will plough you into a ditch and I don't care how you get out. Understood?
I apologise if this post makes me come across as an arrogant meathead but I have to live in the bastard country, against my wishes might I add, and these country ways don't fit in with my urban ideals.
...and relax.
Rant over
** STOP PRESS **
Weight watch is going rather well my blogfans. I made the daring trip to the weigh scales yesterday and have fallen below 11 stone again, in fact I'm not far off 10 now. It seems my programme of no beer and all night clubbing is paying off. My life has gotten more boring but at least my belly is on its way. I shall be fit for summer and the new girl in my office will have to stop poking fun at my weight, and eventually I will pull her. Then she'll see. Dum bitch. Ha!
22:40 Posted in Stuff I hate | Permalink | Comments (23) | Email this
Comments
As a fellow Speed Demon (and licensed Road Bitch!) I can't help but agree...
Whats horrible in Ireland is that most of the drivers are ye olde folkes and those nasty tractors that shouldn't be on roads..
Posted by: Bella Donna | Tuesday, 05 April 2005
"I made the daring trip to the weigh scales yesterday and have fallen below 11 stone again, in fact I'm not far off 10 now"
How tall are you?
Posted by: DJ | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Oh no you don't, I know your game Mr J. You want my height so you can pull out one of those height to ideal weight charts so you can examine it and tell me I'm already at my ideal weight and that there's no need to worry, just like the doctor.
But oh no you don't. I am going to be thin I tell you. THIN
Posted by: Biscuit | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Yes! That is indeed what i'm going to do.
Because, my dear sir, you weigh less than me. This may or may not alarm me/you depending on your height.
So, to alleviate any concern on both our parts that either you're turning yourself into a pipe cleaner, or that I am a pipe cleaner, GIMME YOUR HEIGHT! NOW!
Posted by: DJ | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
DJ that's exactly what I thought when I read this entry:
Biscuit how tall are you?!
Posted by: Chaos Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Tall enough for 10.5 stone to be noticeable around the waist.
But it will be gone, you'll see. I shall have a Hollywood body and clothes will just hang off me loose and casual as if hanging on a washing line. I WILL be thin
Posted by: Biscuit | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Mr Biscuit, when exactly are we three (that is you, I and crazy Bella Donna) going clubbing as I am mondo confuzzled...
Posted by: Dizzy Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
My dearest fairy, you name a date and I will be there (so long as it isn't this weekend or the next).
I am still game and look forward to our 3 way dance party
Posted by: Biscuit | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Yes yes I'm seeing pictures, lots of pictures but absolutely no FAT people at all... Are you mad?!
xx
Posted by: Chaos Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Listen chicken, if I was in your sun, you'd notice.
The issue here is not my balloon shaped body, but rather a date for our outing city stylee.
Posted by: Biscuit | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Whenever's clever ;)
Posted by: Dani the Dizzy Blonde Chaos Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
People, we'll need a more efficient way of communicating with each other... aside from e-mail.. anyone got msn?
And... WHY NOT THIS WEEKEND????? I'm only in Londres for a little while.. damn...
Posted by: Bella Donna | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Ok fairy girl, send me an e-mail and we'll discuss it. Addy at the top of the page.
I'll go chek the eflyer for a good night to abuse.
Posted by: kristianisgreat@gmail.com | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Agreed, MSN would be cleverer.
wildbluesmartie@hotmail.com
Posted by: biscuit | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
danithegirl_1982@hotmail.com
Posted by: Chaos Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
punkrockprincess81@flamingletters.com
Posted by: Bella Donna | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
jus cos i feel like it
rosie_brady57@hotmail.com
Posted by: Rosie gingery | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Rosie! Why can't I post comments on your blog?? Tis MOST annoying :/
xx
Posted by: Chaos Fairy | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
http://happypill.blogspirit.com
Posted by: Rosie gingery | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
Hmm, my dear biscuit, it appears to me that this may be of some use to you:
height, followed by weight in pounds.
5' 10" 132-145 (small frame)
142-156 (medium frame)
Google tells us that 150 pounds = 10.7142857 stone
Therefore, if you be 5' 10" stop losing weight. Now. You're ok.
alternately, if you're 6' you should ideally be 160 pounds - which is about 11.5 stones. Therefore, mr. biscuit, eating a few more of your name sakes wouldnt be amiss..
For more info see http://www.changingshape.com/resources/references/idealbodyweight.asp
Posted by: DJ | Wednesday, 06 April 2005
As long as I can grab a handful of my own waist there is too much there and I don't care what any damn professional medical journal yada yada says.
I feel fat, therefore I AM fat
Posted by: Biscuit | Thursday, 07 April 2005
Dum di Dum, hate to stick me nose in here but just 'cos you feel fat doesn't make you fat, a characteristic of both anorexia and bulemia is a distorted view of your own body, usually a person feels that they are too fat. I not saying you have either of the aforementioned eating disorders but i just thought i'd mention it. Plus this can count as psychology revision :D
Posted by: Gingery | Thursday, 07 April 2005
You feel fat therefore you are a nutter.
Now, although Gingery was polite enough not to say "you may have anorexia" I feel obliged to tell you:
Go. Eat. Food. Now.
Posted by: DJ | Thursday, 07 April 2005
The comments are closed.